Thursday 12 April 2012

Re-Militarized Zone

A Brief Interlude

So the TRX is gay and everyone knows. The only way it could get any gayer is if it joined the most notoriously gay thing the world: the Army. The Navy is pretty gay too but it was designed by Navy SEALS so the Navy's seamen are all over it already (!?). 

It's 'strapping ' (pun), 'ruggedized' and it's the Navy's latest fling.
 This is the TRX Force Kit. This is actually gayer and a bigger rip off than the original TRX. I know, who thought it was possible, right? Check this out, this is from their website: "Now including two TRX FORCE Training DVD's (wow, they train you in the force?!), ruggedized Guide, running bag, door anchor and Xtender Strap". So for fifty dollars ($50) more I get two dollars worth of added strapping and my guide "ruggedized"? That thing on the left is the "running bag", you know, because I'll want my TRX when I'm on patrol in Iraq killing civilians who try to help me (this happened). If busted, I can plant it on them and claim they were going to hang me with it (too bad they didn't). The irony being that it would take the income from like five Iraqi families to purchase even one TRX. Then there's the "Xtender strap" why does this sound like this is the name for some kind of penis enlarging undergarment? I guess we know who their clientele are...

Militarization of Motivation 

Why is no one concerned with the overt militarization of the fitness industry? Look at these Rogue bumper Plates:


What the the fuck is there a grenade doing there? Seriously these would be dope plates, I would buy them, if it weren't for this shit. Why do the gutless wastes flock to bootcamps? Why is military type "motivational" mind fucking in vogue? I'm trying to understand this: you are so weak, mentally and emotionally, that you need a surrogate to "make" you workout? Your scarred (yes scarred) and cowering self entrenches itself behind the towering militarized ego fantasy of hierarchical safety to achieve yet another facet of ego dominated obsession: looks. So the public at large is so emotionally damaged as to submit their individuality to another so as to achieve the illusion of health? This is like 1984, "ignorance is knowledge", "war is peace", "insanity is health". This extends well beyond the fitness industry. Oh and by the way the reason we use the term fitness is actually a reference to "being fit to serve" in the armed forces. You think fitness has to do with your health or well being? Give me a break, the industry exists to a) make money by fucking you in the ass, and b) make sure there will be a high enough percentage of "fit" individuals should they require some canon fodder for one of their hostile corporate takeovers, oops, I mean "liberations". I mean doesn't it seem like protein bars and powders and supplements are analogs to rations? Keep you alive long enough to empty your magazine (wallet) and then, hey, who gives a fuck what happens to you after that. North America you are being mind fucked to the nth degree. War is a business and you are the employees. Quit.
 

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