Oh and by the way, this issue claimed to be a fitness special (!?!).
So we get two thirds of a page showing four exercises with a paragraph explaining each start/finish pictogram. Let's see what Katie Mack, a trainer at New York's Peak Performance, has to say about ab training:
1. "Suitcase Deadlift" - except the blurb says to use two dumbbells thus making a dumbbell deadlift as the suitcase deadlift is performed with only one dumbbell or, better yet, barbell. Dumbbell deadlifts suck because dumbbells are too light, one is much better off using a trap bar deadlift because it's virtually the same and you can use an actual load.
To be fair a real suitcase deadlift is a great ab exercise - if you aren't going for a small feminine waist. You see suitcase DLs will build the obliques and make your waist appear wider, even if you don't build any muscle as the increased tonus will cause the obliques to appear more prominent. Oh well.
2. "Half Kneeling Overhead Dumbbell Press" - the pictogram shows a woman in a lunge position poorly pressing a dumbbell with the opposite hand from her leading leg. Not a wholly bad exercise despite being very poorly described, but only as a coordination/activation type of drill as the load used is unlikely to be particularly stimulating.
3. "Goblet Split Squat" - when and why did the lunge become a "split squat"? Is this just modern sophistry? This should read 'Goblet Lunge' and when did this become an ab exercise?? But it gets worse....
4. Bent Over Row - exactly what it says, with dumbbells. Again - wtf??? Really? What kind of insane world is this where not only are such poor articles written but then are printed in the "Fitness Special" of a health magazine? If this is working your abs you have severe and horrible physical issues.
I think a round of applause is in order for Katie Mack for entertaining us all so well with her obviously comedic article. Hazzahs for all!
Actually Good Advice:
But much more seriously we should consider what would likely comprise an actually good ab training routine. Moves basically anyone who isn't physically disabled can do, good volume and moves that will encourage good abdominal development without making the subject blocky looking.
Hmm.... why even waste time with a variety of moves when we could just use one? Especially if the move is the one gymnasts, divers and acrobats use to build their freaky strength?
No not the L-Sit, we need to account for noobs, the move is the Compression Hold. The CH is what you start with to build up to the L-sit but can be used indefinitely because you can never really get too strong for it. Oh and did I mention how easy it is to learn? Perfect for mostly everybody.
Behold: pictures.
How to do: try to make the distance between your sternum and pubic bone as short as you can (as in: shorten abs as much as possible), push your hands into the floor as hard as you can (and don't stop!), point your toes and lift your legs off the floor. It doesn't matter how high or even if you get them off the ground just as long as you try really, really hard. You'll know you've got it when your abs feel like they're tearing apart.
If you get bored: try this variation.
Basically the same deal as far as execution but when you do it you'll why it's good. Oh and the idea is that you do holds for time and holds for form. First in your workout do them with beautiful form: pointed toes, legs high, like you're showing off for judges - no sets and reps, just practice getting good. As a finisher (shudder) do one hold for time.
For the dummies: this is a hold, there is no movement, get in position and stay there, this is the not-lame version of a plank.
Ok so go do this. Like right now. Why are you still reading this? Go - it takes no time. Seriously this is lame, why are you reading workout articles if you're not gonna go do it? Leave your computer and compression hold - you'll be way cooler if you do...
