Why I hate fitness, part: whatever, who cares....

Jesus fuck:

I read an article about how Frank Zane (one of the best bodybuilders ever) was a minion of Satan and was pushing mind control devices on children. Literally, you can't make this stuff up. This was apparently promulgated by the fact that Mr. Zane sells a portable electronic device that you attatch to your headphones during your workout. Said device uses binaural beats to switch your brain wave state so that you become calm and focused on what you are doing.

Satan works in mysterious ways it would seem: Mr. Zane has a degree in psychology and binaural beats are an old psychological technology used in various types of self help and mental performance products. They are scientifically valid. Is this writer saying that science is the tool of our Dark Lord: Satan? If so then perhaps he shouldn't be writing his article on a computer much less on the internet. He goes on, his website features articles on how bodybuilding magazines are trying to mind control you: (image from site)

Wow if subliminals are the only thing wrong with this magazine, Satan has already won ; )

Subliminals are a method of mind control and a fairly good one but how does printing this fact on your magazine cover equate to them being used on you? Tangent: subliminals are being used on you all the time, they work and you are victim to their programming and despite what you may have been subliminally programmed to think: they are not illegal or controlled in any way; people are "busted" for using them all the time and no charges can be pressed.

Back to Satan: so learning to take control of your own mind is evil? Wow Christians are retarded, seriously what a bunch of lunatics. Imagine if someone tried to tell you that learning to drive was evil, I would imagine that person to be a professional driver if you catch my drift.

Why do Christians even care? Bodybuilding should already be considered a tool of the devil. Can anyone say, spell or even recognize: vanity, pride and avarice? Hello, bodybuilding is obviously sinful, if you're into that kind of thing, already! The reason Christians are even into it is because of the idea of the pure, clean and discaplined bodybuilding lifestyle...... Which is total bullshit! These dummies shoot a plethora of drugs, bang sluts, prostitute themselves for drug money and a litany of other insane and amoral crap. Arnold and Franco pushed people's chimney's over and then sold them new ones as well as having attended orgies and taking steroids and who knows what else. Clean? No, you'd be as deluded as a...well...a Christian.

Powerlifters

Here's a bunch assholes I'm sick of.

These guys diss every other sport on the planet like powerlifting is god's gift to machismo. Bodybuilding may be disgusting, shallow, hateful and juvenile but so is powerlifting.

Now I should disclaim myself at this point: like in any group there are some powerlifters who don't fall into the trap of being a powerlifter, if you'll take my meaning.

The powerlifters I'm sick of are the 'eat ten pizzas and look like fat, squinty eyed baby' guys. Yeah that's eating like a man, oh wait, no it's not: chocolate milk and pizza is what children eat at a birthday party. Or fat, depressed, menopausal women. "Don't say that to our faces" I hear being quipped. Or what? You'll chase me? Hahaha! I'd like to see that.

It goes beyond being a hideous, unhealthy, attention mongering narcissist (like bodybuilders!). Let's talk suits: the sport of powerlifting (in many associations) allows the use of special "power suits" and "bench shirts". These are made from a very strong elastic type material that stretches and absorbs energy from the barbell and stores it elastically to help the lifter out of the bottom of the lift. Powerlifting guru Louie Simmons sees powerlifting 'gear' as an evolution of the sport, such as in football where all of the pansies wear tons of special protective equipment whereas the badasses of the bygone era wore relatively little. My take is a little different: it's more like football players wearing PowerRisers. Not an evolution, a totally different game.

I read an article today by some powerlifter who sported a 950 squat (a lift that benefits hugely from powersuits) and 800 bench press (another lift that benefits hugely from 'gear') and a 760 deadlift (a lift that suits do practically nothing for).

When you bench more than you deadlift you should probably stop and and think about what you're doing. That is pathetic. The funniest part is that the fatter you are the more the suit or shirt helps you! If being obese and stuffing yourself into a super tight suit to lift some huge weight is hardcore then, again, Satan has won ; ) How tight are these suits? Well you'll literally need a team of helpers to squeeze your fat ass into one and then, when you actually lift, you'll finish with massive blood blisters all over the high flexion points of the suit/shirt.

Yeah guys, real badass. Hey here's a novel idea: try lifting without that shit. Again I should point out that there are raw leagues wherein the use of such equipment is prohibited and I do respect that to some extent (they usually still allow belts = weak). There are also lean powerlifters who look like a million bucks, usually only the heavier weight classes get in to the whole fat baby look and, again, I will say I have respect for that (the lean guys). It's just the fat attention whore types who dominate the media, which is pissing me off. No one likes fat attention whores.

Chuck Collras, lightweight powerlifting champ. (1960s?)

The Rest

Olympic weightlifting is filled, at least here, with bitchy egomanics. Crossfit turns women into shaved ape chicks. Fitness in general is a social control mechanism to ensure there are recruitable drafts for whatever wars are being planned. It all sucks. Why are any of these paradigms in existence in the first place? Lifting weights (or rocks or whatever), looking good and being able should be a prerequisite to being a human. Like sleeping or dressing yourself. Do we hold dressing competitions or rank the 10 best sleepers in the country? Fuck no because that would be stupid.

I guess I should step back and try to remember that most of you don't classify as humans anyway and this is all a moot point for you scum.

To you scum: I think there is new episode of House you can download and, hey, why not grab some pizza and ice cream too? Already seen that episode of House? Big Bang Theory! Or how about Walking Dead? Or whatever piece of shit social program is in theaters right now?

Anyway, to those of you who qualify: try not to let these hilariously stupid categories interfere with your training. They all suck and are good, just keep your eye on the goal: awesomeness, which is a complete package of aesthetics, speed, coordination, strength, intelligence and good humor. Remember who you're working for : )

Back to the scum/slaves: you don't even know the meaning of suffering yet, I have yet to even begin. >= D Repent and kill yourselves now.

Savagery

Zombies

To those of you who are on the whole Zombie kick: leave Earth. Your status has been revoked, you are no longer rated to operate the following equipment: human body, surface dwelling.

This was done with in 2002. Now I see a Z-Day survival kit being offered by cutlery manufacturer Gerber. Gerber has always sucked, what with their plastic axes and all, but this has crossed the line even for their obviously low standards.

A recent episode of the hilarious social satire South Park recently illustrated just how low the bar has dropped in the western world. We are so desperate for entertainment as to become savages. You, western world, have lowered yourselves to the level of children, spoiled, poorly behaved children. Or retarded, incestuous hillbillies, you pick, they're both the same. Watch an episode of ANY show and tell me it isn't savagely arrogant and simply a vessel for social programming and I will show you a savagely arrogant, socially programmed waste of what we now depressingly refer to as humanity.

Babysitters Being Stabbed with Knitting Needles by Gay Presidential Candidates

 Why do I even care about the moronic and and vapid ways in which you decide to waste your collective lives? Maybe it's because I can't find a decent used pullover unit anywhere and I'm generally irritated by it. In fact that's likely. I mean how bad could humanity be when they, we, are the creators of said pullover unit? Not all bad anyhow.

Enough with the Negativity!

 Okay okay, I'll switch to something more humorous.

Hmmm...... I can't think of anything: fuck you scum, may your dying breath be the inhalation of my balls. Die slow - oh wait you are! In front of the TV, at the the chemical executioner, oh wait - Doctor, and sucking down microwaved food substitute. My wishes have come true it would seem except for one thing - you want to do these things! It's just not the same, I want you to be forced to these things against your will and have it be a torture. Grrrr.

I want to see the horror in your eyes as I sell you movie tickets for a piece of shit Batman movie you know will be vomitously gay, I want to see the fear twist your face as you PAY me for the tickets with your hard earned money that you received from doing some job you hate and that you know contributes to our collective downfall.

Luckily I can convert my cold hatred into motive force that drives me to assert my inner power to become an even greater and more powerful unit of man. Your waste is my gain. Hahahaha, Omitofo.

Super Heroes - The Pantheon of Modern Spandex Gods

Did no one notice that comic books were and are for children? I see adults with 'Transformers' emblems on their vehicles - as though it were hardcore! What a joke - I should wear some 'Barney' gear to the gym which I, ironically, would be able to pass off as hardcore because it's on me and this is the face I make when I lift:

Barney's love/face the slayer

Tim Burton in his Michael Keaton Batman movies recognized the stupidity of he whole genre and made fun of it with satire. Satire is lost on the majority of you because it is one of the most intellectually advanced forms of comedy. In fact the inability to recognize sarcasm (a form of satire) can be used medically as a diagnostic method to detect certain types of cognitive dysfunction (retardation). I guess that means most of you are in fact retarded. Again this reminds me of a recent South Park episode but I have digressed.

There has been much written on the homosexuality expressed in the superhero genre and how it, to some bizarre extent, has become our new embodiment of the Nietzschian superman. The Nazi's, as related to me by a living Auschwitz survivor (in person!), would only kill the flamboyant gays because the butch gays "made better killers" than even the already super efficient and loyal straight Nazi's. Which brings me to my next point.

Notice how the "hero" comes by his powers - how many are self created? Zero. Batman has god, I mean Morgan Freeman, who gifts him his "crime fighting (?)" gadgetry (for money). Captain America has the army (god) to thank. Thor get's his power straight up from god. Superman is an alien (god, through no doing of his own).

Why is this an issue? It tells us through our unconscious (through the use of symbolism) that power is granted to you by someone else. This an absolute and obvious fallacy that everyone just kind of accepts without thinking about (hmmm, subconscious programming anyone?). It also shows that to be powerful you'll need some kind of exogenous aid (technological integration) to achieve greatness because you don't have it on your own. You're just another pathetic slave until god (authority) hooks you up (authorizes) or until you're rich enough to buy god's favor.

Now I'm not going to say some shit about how the real heroes are the men and women in the armed services or police or some shit because that would be like pouring perfume on a pig. Those people are the villains, well more like the villain's retarded orc minions. These guys are psychologically mutilated psychopaths, but mutilated by what? Comic books? Video games? Super hero movies perhaps? Look at what these guys are okay with doing:

"Re-educated dissidents" - your drones at work. The fact that you pay for this makes me want to kill you.

Good work everyone, this is what we need more of. I mean those drone pilots are making the world safer not creating generations of future dyed in the wool killers who want to destroy you and your entire way of life. I think a nice pat on the back is in order, everyone grab a knife and pat the guy next to you with it and then yourself.

Super hero movies are programming you to to kill on command through the authority authorizing you to behave in what would otherwise be an immoral way "for the common good" symbolism. You become "super" through the integration of the granted to you technology (drone, tank, jet, AC130). You don't and won't make these connections with your conscious mind because it has been educated not see this way, it has been educated for you because you wouldn't do it yourself. So you, being a lazy, sense oriented, sack of pestilence and rot has resulted in robots flying around Pakistan and Afganistan killing people's families for no reason other that they may potentially stand in the way of huge illicit drug profits - with you signing the cheque.

I hope you read this and kill yourself.