Flappy Bird: Earth with Humans v1.674927351(74)×10−27

Oooooooh - new Martian developments! This would be one of my faorite topics if it weren't for all the cranks and dumbasses involved in the field. I appreciate their curiosity and enthusiasm it's just that most of them are shockingly inept at coming to conclusions about things. Perhaps 'coming to conclusions' is the wrong phrase, lets say 'positing hypotheses based on available evidence'.

Fresh off the presses we have this fantastic new find:

http://mars.jpl.nasa.gov/mer/gallery/all/1/m/3720/1M458433044EFFCEQKP2955M2M1.HTML

What you may or may not notice is that to the right of centre you'll see a circle with a cross in the centre. Everybody and their dog is jumping on the "valve handle" hypothesis. While it could be the remnant of a mechanical artifact (for all any of us know the picture is fake and there are no rovers on Mars) or perhaps it's evidence of 'aliens' in a different way....

You see there is such a thing as a trace fossil, something that while not intact has left a fossilized imprint of itself or a process for which it was responsible. Behold! examples:

Fossil? Yes - but I'll be damned if that doesn't look like a Yin/Yang with a crude Bagua.

Heel strike from a basketball shoe? Nope. Fossil.

Holy fucking black and white Batman... here let me infuse some 'kulahs':

Suck on that. BTW I saw your mom behind Taco Bell in handcuffs XD

Okay anyway, impressions can be left behind by various lifeforms that look to us to be of intelligent providence when in fact it was some stupid tubeworm fucking around 500 milliion years ago. Now it should be stated that I don't blame a tubeworm for the NASA shape, it could have been a sea star or urchin-like creature, it could be a valve handle, it could be celtic cross engraving left by time travelling Merovingians, how the fuck could I tell? For all I know space as we claim to understand it isn't real and there are no other planets and the Earth is flat.

All I'm saying, like with the 'dinosaurs are fake' thing, is: we don't know. All we have to go on is either our own direct experience or a priori conclusions which includes but is not limited to hearsay. One sucks totally and one is still quite dubious. Allow me to explain.

Explanation:
Direct experience is obviously the best of the two. After all experience is what the scientific method is based off of. The same scientific method that so many take to be a stifling and dogmatic religion all too unfortunately, anyway nonetheless it is an accepted method by which the likely truth of a matter is resolved. It's good enough for court, right?

Wrong. Don't get me started on court. The senses you use to experience the supposed outer reality are in fact synthetic. As in they are the synthesis of electrical inputs into your brain into something we can't find: experience. It's fascinating to me that people think they experience reality when they can't find what it is that experiences it. They say "brain, the brain experiences it" okay then why do brain dead cardiac patients see the room containing their switched off cadaver and can describe conversations the surgeons had while legally dead?

The structure of the brain does not account for experience, and I don't mean memory, I mean the active experiencer, that which experiences only the now (which is eternity really if you think about it: it's never not now...). Obviously this gets into some pretty fucky territory so I'll move on.

The point is that which you experience is a proxy assembled from electrons and the structure of the inside of your own brain, not reality. It is impossible to experience reality directly because it would seem the experiencer is not present in what we call reality, likely because physical reality is an illusion, or something. So to say: "FACT: ANYTHING" is a fallacy, it is at best a supposition.

If I were to choose a pop culture reference to what reality actually is, I'd choose this one:

Crude, yes, but I believe it gets the point across.... oh wait: humans.... crap.

It's likely that there is no physical universe as we think of physicality and what lies beneath is just information, the binary codices of some super intelligent macrobe to whom we are simply gut fauna and this, the dream dreamed collectively by our doubly helical processing core, spewing forth the  "Flappy Bird: Earth with Humans v1.674927351(74)×10−27" that is all we will ever experience as ourselves in this "place".

Keep fit and have fun, or don't: it's your fantasy.