I was on Kettlebell Systema Universities facebook page when I saw this:
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| I was entertained by the meme-y-ness of it all. |
In the comments section for this image there were people actually defending the image on the right which is apparently from a workout video called Kettleworx.
People said: "the guy on the left is an athlete and who would want to look like that anyway?" And "kettleworx is a good cardio workout".
There are many sides to the insidious weakness that pervades this type type of thinking. Let's start with cardio. If you need a good cardio workout and you aren't an athlete, why would you ever even consider using kettlebells in the first place? Kettlebells are the implement of Kettlebell Sport, called Girevoy Sport in Russia. If you can't lift the kettlebell for your weight class perhaps you should consider GETTING IN SHAPE FIRST. If you need a five pound KB, YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO LIFT WEIGHTS, PERIOD. If you need a good cardio workout and you are this weak, THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT IS CARDIO!!
Jesus titty fucking christ people! How fucking stupid is it possible to be? How do you brush your teeth or tie your shoes? If you're going to start lifting weights, in any capacity, you need to be strong enough to do it! You should have a reasonable grip on the BASICS: push ups, squats and lunges, throwing, jumping, running, the simple things your body is BUILT TO DO. Try and tell me you can't get a good strength and conditioning workout with just your bodies own weight. Try it, I dare you.
One commenter sad that the GS athlete was intimidating. Wow, YOU AREN'T A CANDIDATE FOR KB LIFTING YOU WEAK STINKING SHIT. You should be taking care of babies somewhere, oh wait, babies weigh more than five pounds so I guess that means you should be dead in a hole or perhaps writing Big Bang Theory episodes, you scum.
Why is fitness an industry? I can see how athletics is an industry, I am involved in it. But fitness? GO FOR A WALK, RIDE A BIKE, DO THE 5BX ROUTINE I POSTED, CHALLENGE YOURSELF. And, should you be so stupid as to not know how to get "fit" then it means you aren't "fit" and probably belong in aforementioned hole.
But you can use kettlebells for other things than just Girevoy Sport, I hear as a rebuttal. Well, you can use a turkey baster as a fucking dildo if you want but it works better as turkey baster. Why spend money on something you don't need? Why do you have to admit, which you do with your purchase of this crap, that you are so mindless that you can't go outside and move around? You do not deserve to be called a human being. Calling you an animal is an insult to animals. You are a consumer. You take and give nothing. You are a vacuous black hole. Recycling your bodies carbon into charcoal would serve the earth better than you will.
Simply put, people need to lay a base of basic athleticism and movement capacity before taking on any specialized training. Weight training in any form is specialized. You must be able to: do a push up, do a chin up, do some jumping squats with good form, do some lunge switches with good form and be able to both jog and sprint a reasonable amount with decent running kinematics. This is not hard, it is instinct. Ninety five percent of people will do just fine with only these exercises. Why has this insanely basic information been lost?
Weak Soul
These five pound kettlebell types are weak souls, they are weak inside. At least if you're only weak outside, there's training for that and your strong constitution will help you pass through it. Soul weakness is much harder to deal with, there is training for it but usually the trainee is too weak to undertake it as they are filled with superficial and base desires and can't really grasp the benefit.
If you have a weak soul and desire to cheat yourself with gimmicks, buy a TRX, at least then you can hang yourself with it.