Speed - The Good Kind

Dynamic Effort: Why You Suck At It.

The internet: last refuge of the suckhard. Having read an article on a major powerlifting website in defense of dynamic effort lifting (I'll explain for the dummies in a minute), I found that the author, who is a strength coach for a major university in the US, totally fails to address the point. I hope to clarify A) why the method is sound physically and B) why most people totally fail to use it properly.

High on Speed

 

Speed is what allows a 30.06 bullet to carry about 3000 ft/lbs of energy.

 

For those of you who are still following the laughable programs in Bruce Lee's 'Art of Expressing the Human Body' (Bruce took steroids and a shit ton of stimulants BTW and the programs in the book do not actually represent Bruce's real training) let me explain what dynamic effort is. Additionally: kill yourself, you are too weak to be anything other than someones slave (Bruce Lee's in this case).

Dynamic lifting consists of lifting a submaximal (light) weight with as high a speed as possible. Dynamic lifting is one of the three main methods of increasing force production (strength), the other two methods are lifting maximal (shit heavy) weights and lifting a submaximal weight to circa failure (failure or near failure). An ideal training program involves all three methods such as the conjugate method utilized by Westside Barbell.

The reason dynamic effort lifting works is very simple physically: due to the combination of gravity force and inertia, the amount of energy required to accelerate a given load increases exponentially. What does this mean? Lifting slow is very efficient, that is why when a very heavy weight is lifted it usually moves quite slowly (there are other factors that are beyond the scope of this piece). To move an object very fast requires a huge amount of force, this is why throwing a baseball, a relatively light object, at a very high speed requires enough strength that the athlete can damage their body if not sufficiently prepared.

For the dummies: if you lift as fast as possible you are exerting the same amount (or greater in some cases) of force as during a max attempt. Obviously doing this makes a person stronger. Durr.

How to Not Suckhard

The status quo in the lifting world is pretty much the same recommendation given by Louie Simmons of Westside Barbell: use about 50 to 60% of your max and lift that shit as fast as is humanly possible. Now it NEEDS TO BE STATED: these are RECOMMENDATIONS for GEARED LIFTERS. Raw lifters may elect to use higher weights in the 60 to 70% range. Many experts even recommend lighter weights than Louie: somewhere in the 30-40% range.

This depends on a huge amount of factors, to figure out the best percentage for your situation, you'll have to figure out the best percentage for your situation. That's right motherfuckers you have to experiment. Mother loving Edison had to try thousands of light bulb designs before he stole the idea from two guys from Toronto. Perseverance is the key.

Here are some guidelines: you'll likely be able to use a higher percentage on box squats than with say jump squats. If you need me to tell you this then maybe you aren't cut out to be a champion, or strong, or be able to out bench a thirteen year old Russian girl (you know who you are).

People will try one or two exercises at one percentage range and then say incredibly stupid things like: "dynamic lifting fucked up my shoulders" or "dynamic doesn't work" etc. No none of these things are true: your shoulders were too weak for the intensity you used, you fucked up, same for "it doesn't work"; it didn't work because you used the wrong thing (exercise/percentage) for you. Speed lifting works incredibly well at increasing the rate of force development. It can work for anyone: except the incredibly stupid who are too fucking lazy to figure out how to use it effectively, you people will have to hire someone who is smarter than you to figure it out for you.

Really the reason people fail to grasp simple concepts, whether they be physics or kinesiology (or both in this case) is because they are A) to stubbornly dogmatic and self obsessed to even realize there is something they don't know that could be a great help to them and B) they're just too fucking stupid to help themselves not look like total abject losers to everyone around them. I guess those are both aspects of the same thing but with the profanely stupid it helps to be very clear (although I question their ability to comprehend anything they read anyway).

Keep metal. If not: die.

Go back to Canada

Printed Guns

"Having read this article, I was amused at the prospect of printing my own AR lower receivers because they are certifiably a bitch to machine. What I was not amused by was the general tone of the article: this idea is scary.

Scary? Your a fucking coward, coward. People buy guns at hardware stores in the US. Everybody and their dog has a gun and THIS is what scares you?? I recommend moving to Sweden or some other equally bitch like and castrated European socialist work camp if the idea of printing guns scares you.

Next the article states that, Mr. Wilson, after having announced his intent to print guns with a Stratasys 3D printer he had aquired, had his printer repossessed by Stratasys. It sounds like Stratasys is a company populated with estrogenic, mush brained zombies and like I would never do business with them unless paid handsomely and was able to mock their ignorance openly.

Next the author uses subtle insinuation. Check these strange inclusions:

"I wasn’t sure what to make of him. He checked his phone every 10 seconds. He had a hard time making eye contact. Every other sentence ended with “Do you know what I mean?”" - my god he's a terrorist! Anybody stop to think that maybe this guy had a really tenuous hold on his girl and that the phone checking and eye contact thing had something to do with that or some other personal thing that has nothing to do with anything the author has any business writing about? Or maybe that the author had no business writing about this guy in this way because it's totally irrelevant to the piece? Is this reporting or an editorial, does anyone even know the difference anymore?

"Printing a lower receiver takes seven hours, but there is something particularly ominous about seeing the ARS plastic begin to take shape as the lower receiver is born." - ominous huh? Wait this is the same coward from earlier!

"It’s either exciting or scary–or perhaps both–and that polarity is something Wilson recognizes, and which he knows how to bend to his advantage." - bending fear to his advantage? Isn't the author of this article doing just that, however subtle?

"He’s created his own world in this mission, where friends or law school grades take a backseat to the message." - insinuating he's delusional perhaps? Or divorced from reality maybe? I mean: his grades man, what could be more important than an imaginary and arbitrary grading system? Oh also he's on a mission in his fantasy world, apparently, claimeth the author.

"It’s impossible to know where that mission will end..." - oh and some foreboding.

"It all made for a rather confusing week in Texas, during which we were often alone with just Wilson, who appears to have few distractions outside of his work" - holy shit your mommy (or nanny or what the fuck is this guy talking about?) left you alone with this fantasy mission obsessed, fear wielding manipulative terrorist who could snap at any moment, the indicators for which are that he doesn't conform to your idea of how a person should talk or make eye contact? Jesus fuck: good thing there are all those drones flying over American soil, this guy needs to be executed without trial under Obama's executive order!

I find it humorous that people read articles like this and don't pick up on subtlety. What a pack of fools.
 
Erin Lee Carr, read this: you suck and are a terrible, manipulative and disgusting person. Your gutless insinuations and vaguely anti gun sentiments are the hallmark of someone who is so laughably weak as to be an insult to all humanity, I would say 'may god have mercy on your soul' but, if god were real, I wouldn't want him (her/it whatever) to.

Hopefully your fingers and vocal cords (and will to live) will be destroyed in some kind of freak industrial accident involving acid and you will be forever silenced from spreading your diseased, commu-socialist groupthink forever.

Canada is full of them.

To quote Phil from Pantera: "All the money in the fucking world couldn't buy me one second of trust
or one ounce of faith in anything you're about - Fuck you all""

Manson

"Lord: thank you for sending Slayer to amuse us and free our minds from the mental bondage you sent us"

First off: Slayer's album "God Hates Us All" is so good it gives me Chuck Manson eyes.

"I've seen all seven faces: each one looks a lot like me""

I also make a much more extreme version of Manson's yang eyes while benching. Maybe I should be a cult leader...

That would suck though so fuck it, I guess I'll stick to my humbly trying to educere the mentally leprous (you). Yes you: have you ever even read the term 'yang eyes' until like two seconds ago? I didn't think so, shut the fuck up and don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

 If you're sick with a head cold:

Do some shit! Sweat, getcha metal on and trash some heavy shit. Get fucking crazy: scream, hit things, smash. Why with all the craziness? Head colds are a kapha issue in the Ayurveda, kapha is slow, cold and stagnant so the natural antidote is: fuck shit up. Or you could try taking speed but that may cause more problems than it solves. Just putting the option out there, after all the last thing we'd want is a safe and boring world.

Well, some may want that but they are the scum of the Earth and my sworn duty is to destroy their poison forever. I'd rather die in a dynamite explosion, spaceship test flight or apocalyptic, heavy metal, melee war with super mutants than in an old folks home. At least then I'd have some dignity.

Guess what dummies? (You're dumb!)

You are one of the 95% of total, abject, remorseless idiots. How does that make you feel?

Really you shouldn't feel too bad. Mostly because of two things: 1) at least you won't be lonely and; 2) IQ, contrary to what the idiots who invented this asinine gradation would have you believe, is trainable.


The issue lies in the fact that most of you are, in fact, very average but because you think that in fact you are above average (because of a perceptual glitch) you make huge mistakes, such as in not training your mind. This is as stupid as not training your body.

So why am I bringing this up, again, I mean you all know how you appear to me as drooling, sociopathic machine tools for a remorseless intellectual elite right? Ultimately it's because I have to tell you, you may thank whatever you think of as god - or me motherfucker.

 Heavy Fucking Shrugs

Do them. Or perhaps you'd prefer an 'Ahnold' voice: do dem, two moa... at least, let's get serious heeya. As Jamie from "Chaos & Pain" (who hilariously was in a few pornos, some with men) points out: if you aren't using four plates per side you aren't shrugging, you're performing some strange type of public masturbation. Speaking of Chaos & Pain: that blog, as I have discovered, is sickeningly similar to mine. Must be a Libra thing (?).

Don't roll your shoulders. Don't be a form nazi. Just haul up some huge weights, end of story.

Anonymous (the "hackers")

Psyop bitches. They are a controlled opposition populated by some security agency stiffs, Some kind of NSA or CIA or something. Why? Hmmm.... maybe because they are causing internet security bills, such as CISPA etc. to be put back into legislature. You dummies probably don't even care about internet freedom anyway, "we need it to save us from the rebel hackers!" is likely what you think. See above intelligence graph.

To keep the hackers out of anything relevant, like power grids or nuclear missile control systems, don't hook them up to the internet! Not hard. If they go after the private sector, guess who's problem it is? The private sector's!

But again, you are morons and you think that government and industry should be blended together, which is because you know nothing about anything except the immediate tasks that you are required to perform at your slave post, I mean job. The mixture of public and private is what Nazism actually is, but again, you're all retarded and think it has to do with race or hatred.

Whatever, you probably think the police work for you. Continue sucking your own balls dummies. I hate you.