How to Get Bigger and Leaner at the Same Time

Yes: it is Possible

German men's indoor cycle sprint team have a a "quad off"

This is really simple: you're going to change your hormones without pills or injections.

There will be no theory here, because even if you can understand it, it will only serve to distract you from your mission, should you choose to accept it.

There will be a basic eating plan, I'm only putting in the important parts so you'll have to fill the gaps with frog DNA, if you can't: stay skinny fat.

Workout:

MONDAY

Tabata Sprints

Do this on the upright bike, set the resistance high for the first set and back down as fatigue builds. Every set must be all out. 20 seconds on, ten off. Start with four rounds for total of two minutes. Add one set per week. If you aren't getting leaner: do this more times per week.

TUESDAY

Dumbbell Bench

Eight sets of eight. Alternate your sets: heavy, light, heavy, etc. Each workout add 2.5 lbs to both your light and heavy sets or five pounds to one. If you add five to your light sets, add five to your heavy set next time. Got it? Good.

Snatch Grip Deadlift (podium optional but recommended)

Go wide with your grip, I go almost out to the sleeves. If you're six feet or over you should too. Learn to use a hook grip if you have grip issues.

I want you to do twenty sets of five. You read that right. Do it. Add weight every five sets and start light, finish heavy.

Should you use a podium: make sure you can fit your feet between the podium and bar. An upside down 100lb plate works good, you're shooting or like 3-5 inches - ish.

WEDNESDAY - OFF

THURSDAY - Tabata Sprints

FRIDAY 

Dumbbell Bench - already explained.

Snatch Grip Deadlift

Same as Tuesday but do twelve sets. Add weight every three sets. Go heavy on this day and lighter on the volume day (TUE).

When you stand up make sure your shoulders are pinched back, this'll make you bigger and help your DB Bench.

Eating

If you can pinch more than half an inch of fat off the side/back of your obliques you don't get to eat carbs. If you can't: you may eat qinoa. For the rest: meat, fat, milk proteins. That's it. I highly recommend olive and coconut oil for fats, go nuts on these.

POST WORKOUT

Ten or twelve eggs, raw, two - three scoops whey (best is whey+casein), quarter cup olive oil, raw milk or goats milk, a bit of water (to dissolve the whey). Drink a glass every two hours after your workout until it is gone.

Drink lots of water, three liters.

Eat four or five times a day. Meat and fat and, if you're allowed: qinoa. Take Zinc Citrate, Transdermal Magnesium (oil) and a B complex. Adopt a relaxed demeanor, confident and easy going.

Final Word

Don't try and ply me with excuses for why this won't work for you or that your skinny fat ass can't survive without carbs. It can. I've done this many times. It works. If you don't get what you want: you're the problem.

A WOD of Shit

A Brain Damaged, Drunk, High on PCP Monkey Could Design Better Workouts than Crossfit

PTTP and KB snatches...and maybe some jump rope.

I'll be the first to admit: I like the idea of Crossfit. Olympic lifts, squats, pullups, etc. But the programming is abysmal, from a sport training standpoint it's downright retarded. Lets look at one of their "WODs" (workout of the day):

1 round for time:
10 Cleans - 225#/145#
15 Cleans - 185#120#
20 Cleans - 135#/95#

This is from Crossfit Calgary's website and from the looks of it they're as dumb as they come.

Why is this lame? Let's see: the weight is posted, not a percentage of the lifters 1RM. So what if a lifter is unable to use the posted weights? How much should they use? Because most people are unable to cybernetically periodize: they'll use really shitty form and hurt themselves (see story below). As well, cleans are a technical lift so doing them A) for time and B) for reps over five is RE-TARD-ED.

Why would they do this when all of the practical experience of decades of athletes of all types would say that this type of workout is really stupid? Let's hear it from the horses mouth:

"Trainers and civilians needs are more akin to the firefighter, cop and soldier than they are to the elite athlete. The reason being, you don't know what gameday will look like, you don't know when it will occur and you don't know what the stressor will be, you just don't know." - Greg Glassman

So train yourself into the ground with shitty technique so that when "gameday" comes you can try really hard at sucking? Not to mention for most people "gameday" looks like this: push handcart with newly purchased Ikea table out to vehicle, load box into back, push hand cart back to start. Wow, yeah man, you gotta train to be able to accommodate the demands of that stressor.

Let's look at this rather simply: strength is the SKILL of being able to stabilize ones skeleton under load and then generate sufficient force to overcome the demand. So really, from a strength standpoint, there is only one stress chain: stability (awareness)> tension with the two facets alternating many times a second through feedback loops.

So what the hell is this guy talking about?

One thing could be metabolism, the metabolic demand of the hypothetical "gameday" is an unforeseeable variable. But there are only a few different forms of metabolism and most can be covered by simply doing Tabata sprints on an upright bike or the same sprints with kettlebell snatches. Not complicated.

I think he's talking about something very simple: money. Pack the dummies in, shout slogans at them, make 'em sore and charge up the ass and because the majority of the population fall squarely into the 100 IQ range they will be totally and willfully oblivious to what you're doing. It's basically the same thing Arthur Jones did with his Nautilus machines in the 70s. Same shit, different crowd of idiots (on a side note: the nautilus pullover machine was/is super dope).

Nice hooters :  D, ahem, funbags, I mean: I'd bet he'd lend both hands! x D

The hilarious thing is that many male Crossfitters, although by the looks of some of the chicks I'd guess them too, take steroids to cope with the ridiculous demands of their poorly programmed workouts. So you need to take steroids and train like a dumbass to prepare yourself to carry your groceries out to your car? Or help your friend move his hot tub? What is wrong with everyone?

I've got way better idea: do something better! Save your money, buy a barbell and a kettlebell or two and do Pavel's 'Power to the People' and some kettlebell snatches. You'll kick way more ass and not incur all the bullshit that comes along with being trained to do Olympic events by people who learned them in a weekend certification course!

This reminds me: I was at Costco in Calgary about a month ago and I saw a man wearing a Crossfit shirt, training shorts and some lame ass Reebok trainers limping up and down the aisles. Yeah, he's ready for gameday.

I could go on and on about the specifics of how stupid this whole business is (structural balance!), but like with the TRX, I think the dummies who buy this shit get what they deserve: gimmicky crap and a lighter wallet. Fudge 'em!

Remembrance Day - A Big "Fuck You" to Mankind

November 11 is the day all you slaves are supposed to get off work and sit around and think about how all those war vets "protected our freedoms" during WW2 and be thankful for it.

Bollocks and utter shite.

How many of you have interviewed World War 2 veterans? Okay, now how many of you learned what you "know" about WW2 from Call of Duty, Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan? Yeah that's what I thought.

I am fortunate to have personally interviewed a former British paratrooper, a Canadian RAF pilot and an Auschwitz survivor. They tell very different stories from the commonly accepted dogma. I am also fortunate to have done tons of research over the years on the topic of warfare with  my main focus being on WW2. This will come of no surprise to those of you who knew me in elementary school : )

The thing that I always ask the combat personnel: why did you go? The answer is always the same: "well Hitler was evil". Evil. Hmm, so I am confused, if Hitler was evil, and I don't think you'll find many arguments to the contrary, then why did Ford build his trucks? Or Kodak help him with bomb sights? Or the large investment firms of Wall Street fund him? Why did the British monarchy back him and pay for his schooling? So many questions...

Hey same goes for the Commies, ahem, Soviets. We, the British Empire, ahem, "Commonwealth" put them in place, it is well documented and is without question in both cases, with dozens of books having been written by respected historians on the subject. So why, if we were funding and helping the Nazis, did we send our young men to go and kill them? To be killed by them?

The reason is primarily twofold:

1) The masses are ignorant retards who can be easily controlled with A) a basic knowledge of Freudian psychology that is then engineered into B) propganda, this is what made Disney what it is today, oh, and by the way Walt was infamous for his "love of children" and his Nazi leanings.

I will quote Julius Ceasar:

"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip (!!) the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind.

And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar."

2) There exist a class of people who are A) highly intelligent B) highly narcissistic and C) fabulously wealthy who engineer wars to make huge, untold fortunes off of the knowledge of Fold 1.

You see if there is no shooting war then who profits off of war bonds? Who profits off of building Jeeps (or JPs as they were know as then)? Who gets to make money building troop carriers for both the Americans AND the Nazis? Mr. Burns, the American industrialist tycoon from "The Simpsons", says of Oskar Schindler and his (Burns) involvement in WW2: "We both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!". This is a telling, popular example of the well known American involvement in industrially and financially supporting the Nazi movement.

The more that is destroyed, the more money is made by replacing it. If your company is 'international' (or global in the modern parlance) then what do you care who wins? Not that it matters anyway because you and your globalist industrialist friends can just sabotage who you would have lose and inforce (not a spelling error) those who you would have win. Then you have whoever you want win and everything works out just great for you.

This isn't a new technology, Caesar was kind (or arrogant) enough to inform us of that. It may be new to you but that is because you are firmly the fodder from Fold 1 and you aren't educated to know "such stuff" (Blade Runner quote anyone?). Your fault, no one else's.

Where am I going with all of this?

Here: remember this this Remembrance Day, those vets are victims of their own stupidity. They brought the world previously unknown amounts of suffering and bloodshed. We have them to thank for the fucked up world we now live in. After all, if when the war drum beat, the men all said "No, no war for me", we all would have peace instead.

But they didn't! Those drooling retarded cowards said: "uhhh, huh huh huh, sure".

"Do we like, get guns? Sweet, guns are cool, huh huh huh" "Heh heh heh, yeah, WAR! WAR!!"

Patriotism: is there a more misunderstood concept in the modern world? Benjamin Franklin, one of the founders of what supposed to be the greatest, most free republic the world had ever known said: "The first responsibility of every citizen is to question authority". In the age of the McCarthean communist witch trials he'd be labelled as a communist subversive, now he'd be called a domestic terrorist. This is the man who brought us central heating (Franklin stove), bifocals, the lightning rod and the odometer and the Declaration of Independence (from the monetary enslavement of Britain).

The reason this has been allowed to happen is because none of the drooling retards (normal people). Cares to question anything which has allowed, over the millenia, popular culture to be basically the reverse of what it should be. There is a slogan used by the overlords to manipulate the public in George Orwell's "1984":

"War is peace, Freedom is slavery, Ignorance is strength".

I made that huge so it would have a chance, however small, of making it into your totally brainwashed mind. You think you aren't brainwashed?

That means that in thinking you are without brainwashing, you have revealed only how brainwashed you really are.

Orwell's book was not about a futuristic dystopia, it was about, although cleverly veiled, 1948. If this was a social mantra in 1948, imagine how far that dialectic has come.

To those of you with a Buddhist bent: you're just as fucked as all the other dummies. How? If you take the middle path between two externally controlled opposites, whose path do you think you're walking? Yours? ROTFL!! Good stuff.

I'll send you to your maker, confront the god you seek, a flash of red upon your chest, safety out of reach - Slayer, Piece by Piece

Flash of red upon your chest, the only way to exit? Piece by piece!

Even the poppy is a gory and ridiculous symbol of the collectives idiocy. Can anyone tell  me what is made from poppies? Opium!! Why is there a war in Afganistan right now? Wait for it:

You guessed it!

Here's what your fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters are A) being killed and maimed for and B) killing and maiming other peoples fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters for. Notice what year was the lowest? The year that promulgated the invasion! Why was it so low? The Taliban think that drug use is immoral! Who did we go to fight for some strange reason? The Taliban, who did not attack us in any way! Nor did they pose ANY threat to us. They're a bunch of framers and shepherds with left over Soviet and CIA (Stinger, man portable anti aircraft) weapons from, at best, the eighties.

I have acquaintances that have told me that while stationed in Afghanistan they would routinely be stationed in A) weed fields and B) poppy fields. Did you know what the Iran-Contra scandal was? The American government sold weapons to Iran to secure the release of the seven American hostages Iran had taken, it was found when the scandal broke that only 12 of the 30 million dollars the Iranians had paid for said weapons actually ended up in the governments holdings. Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North explained that he, with the blessing of the National Security Council, had been diverting money to Nicaraguan rebels (contras). Why would they give a shit about the Contras? The CIA keeps itself in business with cocaine sales and the Contras had promised to keep them in steady supply.

Illegal weapons sales funding the illegal drug trade. Perpetrated by the people who make and enforce the laws. Benny Franklin is spinning in his grave.

The more funny part is that the victim mentality of the masses makes them react to this type of thing like this: "It's Raegan's fault, it's George Bush Sr.'s fault it's the CIA, blah blah blah". Oh yeah, it's their fault huh? Who put them there? Who actually went to Nicaragua to deliver the money and pick up the cocaine? Who builds the bombs? Flies the planes and supports these guys? YOU DO!! IT'S YOUR FAULT. ALL WAR/CRIME/MISDEED IS THE FAULT OF THE PARTICIPANTS AND THE COMPLICIT. That is in your own law.

When you wear a poppy you are saying "fuck you human race, I will destroy your dignity, your family and your world as I AM COMPLICIT".

I leave you with a poem (thrash metal style) by Lemme Kilminster:

Orgasmatron

I am the one, orgasmatron - the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land 
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain  
Two thousand years of misery of torture in my name  
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law  
My name is your religion, sadistic, sacred whore
 
I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit 
I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet 
I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain 
And still you play the sycophant and revel in my pain  
And all I promise are lies, all my love is hate  
I am the politician and I decide your fate
 
I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight  
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might 
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave 
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave  
Your bones will build my palace, your eyes will stud my crown  
For I am Mars, the God of war and I will cut you down

Is Skeptic Another Word for Retard?

[Maybe it Just Means Hopelessly and Willfully Ignorant? *OR* Why Stephen Barret M.D.'s Opinion on Acupuncture is Worthless

In the course of my various adventures on the high seas of data, I was fortunate enough to come across this page. Fortunate because I love to rip into idiots and I especially love to rip into the idiots who think they are smart based on the fact that they weathered the intellectual doldrums of university (think of how pretentious the word 'university' even is).

I posit that, in fact, having weathered said doldrums is an indicator of how low ones intelligence really is. But I have digressed, let us sail bravely forth to acuwatch.org and maketh fun of the idiocy found thereupon (or therein but I thought thereupon was more nautical...).

It's difficult to tell where to start. This page is so shockingly inept as to be, well, shocking. Okay well let's just start at the top: the logo shows a duck, or quack, with a magnifying glass and a Sherlock Holmes type double brimmed cap, implying that the the duck, or quack, is investigating or watching something. given the fact that the title of the page is "Acupucnture Watch" I'm assuming that the quack, in this case, is the watcher. Does it not seem absolutely farcical that the sites own logo is implying that the sites 'watchers' are in fact quacks? I laughed so hard it hurt. They tell you right before you even read the first symbol of text that they're the quacks!!!

The jokes continue: Stephen Barret, M.D. (the quack by the admission of the sites own logo) goes on to criticize the academic acupuncture literature because it provides an inconsistent framework for evaluating patients. I wonder if Mr. Barret has read any of his own professions academic literature? It is so fraught with inconsistencies as to be almost entirely without merit. Why do you think there is the old saying, that when given a grim prognosis: "get a second opinion". I can't count on all of my fingers and toes the stories I have heard from my friends a relatives alone of wanton medical misdiagnosis, often resulting in personal injury no less. This also covers his statement that the TCM practitioners frequently diagnose the same problem in one patient as different maladies.

Next he goes on to further cram his foot in his mouth by saying the laughable: "TCM postulates cannot be measured by scientific instruments". Ignorance of the law is not an excuse Mr. Barret. The meridians Mr. Barret puts in brackets have certainly been found by scientific measurement apparatus (1. Becker RO, et al. Electrophysiological correlates of acupuncture points and meridians. Psychoenergetic Syst. 1976;1:105-112. 2. Reichmanis M, Marino AA, Becker RO. Laplace plane analysis of transient impedance between acupuncture points Li-4 and Li-12. IEEE Trans Biomed Eng. 1977;24:402–405).

He goes on to relay a personal anecdote about how at a local college, an acupuncturist diagnosed him with "stress and "congestion of the blood". This, in Mr. Barret's opinion was untrue based on the facts that, in his words: "I do not suffer from stress, and my blood circulates normally". I am confused did the accupuncturist say that there was a circulation problem? It seems that the author is woefully ignorant of the fact that TCM uses archaic language, "congestion of the blood" could, in western allopathic terms, indicate some degree of platelet aggregation or something else that wouldn't show up as a circulatory issue yet still be a blood issue and could, in archaic terms be called "congestion of the blood".  I guess some people are so stupid as to not realize that they are, in fact, stupid. I should point out that this mans colleagues told an aquiantance of mine with type II diabetes that, as long as she ate brown bread, she could eat as much bread as she wanted. Words like stupid or idiot are not strong enough for medical professionals, how about 'dutifully derelict' or 'hazard to the public'.

Anyhow back to the personal anecdote, he (Barret) "does not suffer from stress". Stress as defined by whom? Dr. Hans Selye's definition of stress is ANY stressor, he posits that stress is needed for an organism to survive and that all living organisms, by nature, are inherently stressed to some degree. The issue here is that when Mr. Barret hears the word stress he automatically equates this to the medical definition of stress, again, woefully ignorant of the difference in terminology. Being willing to just write the whole experience off as quackery instead of investigating the claims posited by the acupuncturist can be called nothing other than willful ignorance.

I should go on to say that "stress", "congestion of the blood" and the later ventricular arrhythmia are NOT TCM disease patterns. Perhaps this accupuncturist was insane or a quack him or herself. How many medical doctors are considered quacks or insane by their colleagues? I can think of at least two: Dr. Simoncini who has found a cure for cancer and been consequently blacklisted and Dr. Aajonus Vonderplanitz who is a proponent of raw milk and fermented foods who also has been blacklisted for his contributions.

He goes on to mention a study in which a woman with low back pain was sent to a several different acupuncturists and diagnosed with a variety of TCM patterns. Because Stephen Barret is, as we established, willfully of ignorant of anything that challenges his small view of the world, he believes that this is evidence of the lack of standardization in the TCM community. I would say, as an amateur, that all of the diagnoses were interrelated and that basically none of the practitioners were wrong.

I would really like to point out the following statistics: 195 000 people are killed yearly by medical malpractice in the US with over 800 000 deaths per year from properly prescribed medicines and as well totally unnecessary medical interventions.

Hmmm, well since acupuncture needs to be watched it must be stuffing the morgues! So how many bodies can we lay at the feet of acupuncture? One. Apparently someone had a four inch acupuncture needle pierce their heart and short circuit it, resulting in heart failure. This isn't even a yearly statistic, it's an all time figure.

Well acupuncture may have some issues, namely it can't be understood by those who have massive cognitive dysfunctions, but at least when I go to get needled I don't run the risk of being killed maimed or traumatized by my practitioner. I should mention that no activity is ever going to be safe, safety is the illusion of the ignorant. And I should mention that the western allopathic approach is awesome if you've been shot, stabbed, poisoned or run over by a car.

The bottom line is this: acupuncture is safe and effective, if you don't believe me then, well then, more for me. Western Doctors are arrogant small minded retards, oh wait no, we call those skeptics now, or was it hopelessly  and willfully ignorant... whatever you want to call them, most suck balls. Now, as with any group, painting them with too broad a brush would be quite unfair, I'm sure there are some awesome and helpful western doctors; I just have never met any and I believe them to be exceedingly rare. If you have any chronic type complaints, go to your acupuncturist, better to lose sixty bucks than have unnecessary surgery.

Also watch out for the quacks at quackwatch, they try to warn you with their logo but as many of you are symbol illiterate I have taken the liberty of doing it for you.

The logo designer probably had a good laugh, I know I did.

Postscript: what makes these guys think that they, in three hundred years (I'm being generous), can outdo over five thousand years of careful observation and experimentation by hundreds of thousands (I'm being very conservative) of people who had a genuine interest in human health? Arrogant, racist and it just goes to show how barbaric, emotionally crippled scum can float to the top of society, shame on you everybody! Why? Because if nothing else you pay for this!!]